Mommy Dotachin
by EmoGhost1995
Summary: Shinra accidentally turned Izaya and Shizuo into children. Kadota has no choice but to take care of them and protect them from their enemies while they are vulnerable... Well, kind of vulnerable. No pairings! Contains minor OCs
1. Kids

**A/N: Great, I know I should be working on other fictions but I can't get this out of my mind**

Well, how long had it been since he saw his highschool gang anyway? A long time, to be precise. Heck! They barely even gave him a call! Or even a text message! So when Kyohei Kadota received a call from Shinra Kishitani, he already suspected something was wrong.

It was hard enough getting the two otakus in the van to shut up so that he could listen to what the underground doctor had to say, but what he had to face was going to be way harder than that.

Especially since he would have to take care of two kids.

What really happened anyway? Well, the moment Kadota pressed the button on the phone and placed it to his ear, he could hear a lot of noise from the other side. Finally, he heard his highschool friend's voice.

"K-Kadota! It's an emergency! Come here! Quick!" And with that, the doctor hung up. The beanie-wearing man stared at his phone for a while, eyebrows furrowing, before he told Saburo Togusa to drive very fast to the doctor's house as there was an emergency. When Erika Karisawa heard this, her fujoshi mind started thinking up of many weird things.

During the trip, she rambled, "Oh! Maybe Iza-Iza and Shizu-Shizu finally got together and Iza-Iza got pregnant!"

Walker Yumasaki sighed, slightly annoyed that such a good conversation about anime turned into a conversation about... Erika's one true pairing. He stated, "Karisawa! Men don't get pregnant! Can we continue talking about Nabari No Ou now?"

Before they knew it, the van reached Shinra's apartment and Kadota had left the vehicle. The moment he entered the apartment, his eyes went wide.

Two children, one brown-haired and one raven-haired, were fighting. No, wait! More of trying to murder each other. Celty Sturluson was using her shadows to pry them apart but the brown-haired boy was a lot stronger than he seemed. The raven-haired one held a very sharp blade in his right hand while his left hand tried to pry the shadows around his waist loose. Shinra was frantically browsing through a bunch of books.

Kadota did not really understand what the emergency was. It was just two kids fighting dangerously. All they had to do was take the knife away. Easy.

The brown-haired child was swearing out loud and screaming vulgarities while trying to reach and grab the boy with jet-black hair's neck. Sighing at the bad parenting skills his two friends had, Kadota decided to help the two adults and easily, they did not notice him so they did not expect anyone else to intrude, by the way, pulled the two as far away from each other as possible.

The boys blinked and stared at Kadota. The raven-haired boy proceeded to smirk, and though he had a cute voice, it was annoying, "Dotachin~!" And immediately the brown-haired man knew who the two was - Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima. He stared at Shinra, as if asking "How the hell did this happen?"

Shinra stared at the ground, ashamed, before he explained, "I, uh, tried testing something out on them..."

Kadota frowned before his expression softened a little and he sighed, still keeping to two kids away from each other.

"Dotachin~! Shizu-chan's being mean to me~!" Izaya whined, showing the most adorable face he could manage.

"Like hell I was! I would've smash your face to bits, flea! And stop showing that face! You look like a damn gay, louse!" the brown-haired child yelled.

Kadota ignored them as he curiously asked the doctor, "Shinra... If they are kids, why do they still remember each other and all?"

Shinra pushed his glasses up, sweating a little, and replied, "I suspect that they simply physically changed. But mentally, they are still the same." Kadota "oh"-ed, then he glanced at the boys before he starting wondering when Shizuo was actually brown-haired. Then he remembered that Shizuo once told him he had dyed his hair.

The beanie-wearing man was so deep in thought he did not notice that Izaya and Shizuo were no longer seperated and was at each other's throats again. Mentally swearing, he grabbed Izaya's blade and kept it in his pocket, wincing when the shape edge sliced his skin when he took it from the boy.

"Oh shit! You're bleeding!" the brown-haired boy exclaimed as if it was not very obvious. Izaya rolled his eyes, muttering a "protozoan" as he went to find a first aid kit that Shinra kept in his cupboard. However, Celty got it before the child did.

After the wound was wrapped in a bandage, though Kadota claimed that there was not a need to do so, the five discussed about the two kids.

"Great! Now we're kids! How the hell am I supposed to help Tom-san now?" Shizuo growled, frustrated.

Shinra nervously stated, "E-Eh... Just take a break for a while! I promise I'll try and find a cure!"

"At least I can work from home, ne~? Lucky me!" Izaya cheered optimistically.

[But they are kids. There are things that they can't do! They need someone to watch over them!] the dullahan typed.

Silence filled the air before Shinra glanced at Kadota, laughing nervously, "Eh... Kadota... I hope you don't mind this but could you... Take care of them?"

"HUH?" the beanie-wearing man's jaw dropped but he went back to normal and pondered before he finally sighed, "Okay, okay..."

"Hooray! Mommy Dotachin's taking care of us!"

"What did you just call me, Izaya?"

"Wait! But isn't it troublesome for Kadota to come to both our houses?" Shizuo stated. Silence again.

"...Shizuo can't work since he's a kid and can't control his strength but Izaya can work from home... It'll be troublesome if Erika and Walker were with Kadota if he babysat you guys... And it would be more convenient if he stayed with you guys until you turn back so..." Shinra muttered before he concluded, "I know! All three of you will move to Izaya's for the time being!"

"HAH?"


	2. Settling Down

For a split moment, everyone wondered if Shinra had gone mad due to stress or wanted to world to end. Seriously? Making the two most dangerous men... Er... Children of Ikebukuro stay in the same apartment? Sure, Kadota would be with them, but comparing him to those two was like comparing the heroes in mangas together with a normal human. Heck! When the entire situation was over, the beanie-wearing man would be probably be dead by then as he was so sure that the boys would drive him to insanity.

"O-Oi, Shinra... I-I'm not staying with that protozoan... Heck! I'm not even going to let him stay in my apartment! Animals should not be allowed to stay in such perfect pla-"

"Who did you call an animal, you damn flea?" Shizuo interrupted to slightly frustrated Izaya. The brown-haired boy could feel a vein pop in his temple as he grabbed the sofa and attempted to throw it at the informant. However, he heard something snap and he froze on the spot.

Celty immediately grabbed the sofa and placed it back on the floor while Shinra examined the boy. Apparently, due to the fact that he was a child, Shizuo's bones were weaker than when he was older and a bone in his arm snapped.

"Ahahaha! Shizu-chan's crying~!" Shizuo's enemy laughed, obviously not carrying about the older of the two's pain.

"Am not!" Lies! Small and tiny droplets of tears were gathering at the corners of his eyes and he tried to keep his mouth closed, preventing himself from letting out any noises.

One step ahead of Shinra, Kadota grabbed some bandages and wrapped the child's arm, using a cloth to make a sling and letting Shizuo's arm rest on it. The child turned slightly red from embarrassment and uttered a soft "Thanks". He used his left hand to rub away the tears which were threatening to burst out. Getting a fracture hurts a lot.

"Kadota, you'll make a good mother, you know! What, with that maternal instinct of your's!" the underground doctor commented and Kadota stared at him, wondering if Shinra even knew that he had used the wrong gender in his sentence.

[Yes, you'll be a good mother!] Celty typed.

"I'm not a woman!" Kadota exclaimed. Izaya teased him, repeatedly chanting "Mommy Dotachin~!" Shizuo just grinned.

After a while that was taken to get everyone to settle down, the three, Shizuo, Kadota and Izaya, made their way out of the apartment.

"Kadota!" Said man stopped and turned around before the doctor continued after hesitating for a while, "Be careful!"

The brunette man did not understand what that meant but he nodded anyway. After all, he would eventually find out what his high school friend meant either way.

The boys and the beanie-wearing man had forgotten about the fujoshi, who was talking about the different mangas with Walker, until they entered the van which was waiting outside for them. The fujoshi screamed and pointed at the boys.

"Oh my God! Yumacchi! This is like a doujinshi! Or a fan fiction! Shizu-chan and Iza-Iza turned into kids!" Erika screamed as she squeezed the informant until he thought he might die of suffocation, though he would never admit that. Walker simply crossed his arms, nodding his head repeatedly. Saburo peered behind to take a look before rolling his eyes and starting the engine. Shizuo laughed at Izaya while Kadota tried to "rescue" the raven-haired boy from the female otaku.

After everyone finally calmed down, the brown-haired man informed his close friends that he would be staying in Izaya's apartment with Shizuo. Walker and Erika immediately hugged their friend, whining and telling him not to go. Saburo remained silent and mentally swore at the two otakus for their dramatic behaviour. Erika got over her "sorrow" quickly and her eyes gleamed as the fact that Shizuo would be staying at the informant's apartment registered in her mind.

Not wanting Shizuo, who had no idea about her love for Shizaya, to hear her rambling about it, the fox-faced boy covered the fujoshi's mouth, fearing that if Shizuo did, indeed, hear about it, he would explode and kill them all. Erika was so focused in her thoughts that she did not notice the hand on her mouth and that her voice was sounding muffled. Walker heaved a sigh of relief, now he could only hope that Izaya did not talk about it. Luckily, the informant did not as he was disgusted about that and really wanted to forget about it. The only one in the van who had no idea what was going on was Shizuo, and everyone pretty much wanted to keep it that way.

"Togusa," Kadota called the driver's name to get his attention, which he successfully did, "Could you drive us to Shizuo's apartment then drive us home? His apartment is further away from Shinjuku, since he obviously wants to stay away from Izaya, and I thought it would be more convenient to let him pack first." Of course, this made sense so naturally, the driver would listen.

It took only a short while for them to reach the bodyguard's apartment. Speaking of bodyguards, Shizuo suddenly remembered he had yet to tell Tom he was taking a break from work. Cursing himself for installing the phone so high up, which he finally got after Kadota got it for him, he called his employer and impatiently waited for him to pick up his mobile phone.

"Hello?"

"Tom-san!"

"...Shizuo? Is that you? You sound... Younger," the man stated, replacing the word that he had in mind to describe the blonde's voice, which was "cute", by the way, with the word "younger".

"Uhhhh... I... Telephone... Problems...?" the child replied, unable to come up with a good excuse, thus making Izaya, who had followed him in, smack his forehead and mutter a "protozoan". Shizuo yelled at the "flea", saying that he had heard that and on the other side of the line, Tom covered his ear with his free hand.

Fortunately for Shizuo, Tom seemed to buy that excuse as he said nothing except a soft "Uh-huh". Shizuo continued, "A-Anyway, I'm taking a break from work for a while. I don't know how long but I'll call you when I'm ready to start again! Sorry for the trouble, Tom-san, but I really need the break..." And the blonde cursed the underground doctor, mentally, of course.

"Don't worry about it, Shizuo. I mean, you have been working really hard for the past few weeks!" At those words, Shizuo felt a smile tugging on his lips. He really admired his employer; he was really patient and he was often calm. And he had helped Shizuo out many times and given him a load of advice.

"Thank you, Tom-san!" Shizuo exclaimed before he passed to phone to Kadota, who helped him place the phone back on the wall.

Remembering why they were at Shizuo's apartment in the first place, they went to the boy's room, grabbed a bag, and started packing. Of course, Shizuo tried kicking Izaya out but he failed terribly. Having no other choice, the blonde had to let the black-haired boy stay. Shizuo tried calming himself down. What could go wrong anyway?

"Ahahaha~! Shizu-chan has pink boxers!" Izaya laughed and Shizuo, using the hand that was not in bandages, attempted to hit him.

"...I just realized something..." the beanie-wearing man finally said something, making the boys turn to look at him, ceasing their fight. Kadota continued, "...How are you guys going to fit into your adult-sized clothes?"

Silence filled the air. Now how could they not have thought about that?

"Hey, hang on... How are our clothes even fitting us perfectly right now?" Shizuo exclaimed.

"Shizu-chan's really dumb, huh? It's most likely that the clothes we were wearing when we went to Shinra's also shrunk! ...What? He did spill that... Thing on our clothes too!" Izaya rolled his eyes, slightly amazed at how stupid the blonde was.

"...So then we can't pack any of you guys' clothes and the only ones you can wear are your current ones that you are wearing. Perhaps we should purchase more clothes? After we settle down, I mean," Kadota stated.

"Yaaaay~! Shopping~!" Izaya cheered enthusiastically.

Finally done with the packing Shizuo's toothbrush and stuff, the three drove to Kadota and gang's home, then to Izaya's apartment where they waved goodbye to the others in the "Van Gang". Erika squeezed the two boys and Walker patted their heads before the two otakus and the van driver left.

Immediately, Izaya told Shizuo where his room, a guest room, was, and ensured that it was far away from his. Then he let Kadota pick his own room, making Shizuo mutter a "Biased little louse".

Shizuo headed to his room to unpack while Izaya checked out if he missed any work. He told Namie what happened and the current situation and all the woman said was, "I still expect my pay." As for our dear Mommy Dota- Uh... I mean, Kadota, since he was pretty much in charge as of now, he had to set some rules and stuff. Of course, Izaya had some rights and all but Kadota was the one who was more in charge, not him.

"Okay, guys, first rule and the most important rule is that you guys must not end up destroying the apartment!" the ex-Blue Squares member informed them after he called them. Izaya feigned disappointment while Shizuo just frowned. If he could, he would have crossed his arms but since one of his arms was bandaged, he could not.

"Oh! Dotachin~!"

"Don't call me that!"

"Dotachiiiiiin!"

"What?"

"I just thought I should tell you Namie will do the chores!" Izaya smirked, turning to glance at his secretary who, in turn, rolled her eyes.

"...But don't make such a huge mess! Especially you, Shizuo!" Kadota pointed.

"I'm not that messy!" the blonde defended.

Kadota kept quiet for a brief moment, as if trying to recall something, before he said, "...I think there isn't much to say anymore so let's just go shopping now."

"Yay~! Shopping! Let's observe humans from the mall!"

"Oh enough of your creepy creeper-ness, flea!"


	3. Starting

Almost immediately when the trio reached the mall did Kadota regret it. Izaya had ran off to God-knows-where and Kadota went to chase him, not only to lose sight of the informant, but also to realize that Shizuo was not with him either. Either Shizuo had just remained where the adult had left him, or he had chased after him but lost sight of him. Knowing Shizuo, it was probably the latter. But either way, the two boys were now lost. How parents took care of their children without going insane, Kadota would never know. Groaning in frustration, the beanie-wearing man began searching for the boys.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the mall, Shizuo was standing still, frantically looking around for his high school friend. Knowing that by shouting, he would only draw attention. So, for the sake of protecting his own pride, the bodyguard started running around the mall, searching high and low for Kadota. Having one arm broken was not very inconvenient since the boy was really strong.

The mall was really huge so finally running out of breath, the brown-haired child leaned against a wall, slowly sinking lower and lower until he was in a sitting position. He was panting and could feel his heart pumping faster. He tried calming himself down by telling himself that it was alright and that he could just return to Izaya's apartment. Then he realized that the mall they were in was in Shinjuku and he did not know how to return from there. The only way he knew to go to the informant's apartment was from Ikebukuro straight to there.

Growling in frustration, the brown-haired boy used his hand that was not broken to push himself up before he walked off, resuming his search for Kadota.

On the top floor of the mall, Izaya was sitting on the railings, observing his precious humans. He ignored the fact that if he fell, he could die, judging from the height from where he was sitting to the floor. Of course, the auburn-eyed child was not surprised when no one told him to come down. After all, nowadays, people do not really care about others. Izaya smirked; humans were so predictable... And amusing!

He then continued to watch the humans below him and laughed when he saw Kadota running around, searching for the boys. Then he saw Shizuo, and burst out, laughing.

Upon hearing the familiar laughter, Kadota looked up and saw the information broker waving at him enthusiastically, screaming a loud "Hi, Dotachin!"

Ignoring the nickname, the brown-haired beanie-wearing man ran up to the informant. He panted and gasped for air the moment he reached the top, making Izaya clap his hands, joyfully laughing.

"Ne~! Dotachin's one of my favourite humans!"

"Don't... Call me that!" the man stated, panting. Izaya continued observing the humans until the Strongest Man... Uh... Child of Ikebukuro came. Immediately, Shizuo started complaining before he finally kept quiet and hugged Kadota's legs. Children do that when they missed someone or when they were scared so Shizuo assumed he was doing that because of child instincts.

When they finally left the mall, after shopping, of course, they immediately headed back to the apartment. Namie had already left.

"Ne! Ne! Mommy Dotachiiiiin~!" Izaya whined as he squeezed the adult's leg. Before Kadota could say anything, the black-haired boy continued, "I'm hungryyyy!"

"What? But-"

"Dotachiiiiiiiin~!"

And, again, before the brown-haired man could say anything, Shizuo entered, pouting, and stated, "I'm hungry..."

"Please, Dotachiiiiin? Shizu-chan's hungry tooooooo~!"

"Fine! Fine!" Now Kadota finally knew how parents gave in to their children so easily. Izaya cheered before he ran off to the living room, with Shizuo following behind him. Kadota only hoped that the living room would not be destroyed when he was done.

He began to search around for an apron as he did not want to get his clothes dirty. It was as if the Gods hated him or something though... Because all he could find was a pink-coloured and frilly apron with the picture of "Hello Kitty" on it. No way in Hell was he wearing that! But then his clothes would get dirty and he would have to wash more clothes that night since Namie had left so... Oh, how he wished Izaya told Namie to stay in the apartment while this went on!

Looking around to ensure no one was around, he slipped the apron on and sighed. He swore mentally; if anyone saw him, his pride would be ruined. But yes, it would appear that the Gods hated him that day.

"Haha! Mommy Dotachin looks so cute!" the auburn-eyed boy's voice came and Kadota turned around, pointing a finger at the boys, mouth opened wide in shock. Shizuo was standing with Izaya, laughing to himself.

"Well, I'd hate to agree with the flea, but you seriously look great in that!" Shizuo commented, grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, finally we agree on something, Shizu-chan!"

"GET OUT!" the man who was no longer wearing his beanie exclaimed, pushing the boys out of the kitchen and slamming the door, face completely red with embarrassment.

Meanwhile in Ikebukuro, Shinra was studying on the remainders of the mysterious chemical or liquid thing he had accidentally poured on the two dangerous men... I mean, children of Ikebukuro. Where the hell did he get that anyway?

[Any luck?] the familiar PDA screen appeared in front of the doctor's face. Shinra tiredly shook his head before he continued thinking.

Suddenly, Celty slammed her palms on the table before she shoved the device into Shinra's face again. [Oh! I remember something! Izaya had a client who wanted me to deliver something to someone else! I think it was that chemical thing that turned Izaya and Shizuo into children!]

"What? How did it end up in the apartment?" Shinra asked, forgetting about the fact he was tired just now.

[I came back home with it because the bag it was in was tearing. I took it out and placed it on the table beside one of your medicine things! I think it was because the containers were the same that I got it mixed up!] Celty typed and passed the PDA to her lover before she buried her helmet into her palms, as if saying "This is all my fault!"

A comforting hand was placed on her shoulder as Shinra tried to console his girlfriend. In his mind, he was thinking. So someone actually made a chemical... Well, more of potion, that can turn one into a child? Is this an act of witchcraft? Impossible! Witches do not exist! But then again, Celty was a dullahan and she existed so...

Well, it was not like thinking about it would help! Shinra had to find a way to get them back into adults! After all, what would happen if the two men... Uh, children's enemies were to find out they were kids? Shinra could only hope Kadota understood what he meant when he said "Be careful"...

Meanwhile in Shinjuku, Kadota was finally done with the boys' dinner. Wow! Time sure had passed! Forgetting to remove the apron, the temporary parent carried the two bowls of ramen and brought it to the living room.

"Say 'Cheese', Dotachin!"

"Wha-?"

And a flash temporarily blinded his eyes. Luckily, Shizuo took the bowls before Kadota accidentally spilled them.

"Damn it, flea! Don't do that!" the brown-haired child exclaimed. Grinning, Izaya kept the camera in his drawer and then, he went to grab his bowl from Shizuo.

"Argh! Guys!" the brown-haired man who was not wearing his beanie exclaimed the moment the blindness faded, "I told you no destroying the house!"

Indeed, the living room looked as if a tornado had passed by. Immediately, he went to check the appliances and furniture before heaving a sigh of relief. The damages were not too bad and he could fix them, but it would take all night.

Frowning and glaring at the boys, he said, trying to hide the anger in his voice, "After you're done, clean your own bowls. That's your punishment." He would have gotten them to stay awake and help him repair the living room, but how could he? That would be too cruel, and Kyohei Kadota was definitely not cruel.

So listening to what the man said, the boys did as they were told before they returned back. Kadota, at first, wondered why. But when he saw the clock, he immediately knew. It was already an average kid's bedtime.

Sighing, he got up from the floor and walked the boys to their rooms. Shizuo was first since his room was the closest. Kadota tucked him in and made sure he was warm.

"Night..." the child yawned before he immediately dozed off.

Then Kadota walked the raven-haired child to his room and did the same. But then Izaya childishly whined, "I want a kiss on my heaaaaad!"

"Um... What?"

"You heard me, Dotachin~!"

Silence filled the room before Kadota turned to leave. Izaya whined some more, "Please, Dotachiiiiin! My mother used to do that when I was little!" And then, the little informant stretched out his arms, opening and closing his hands.

If Kadota could resist such adorable eyes staring right at him, he would be unstoppable! But he could not. Sighing in defeat, he bent down and gave the child's head a small peck before he tucked him back in.

"Ne~! Mommy Dotachin's really a good... Mommy..." As the words grew softer, the black-haired child slowly drifted off. Children were really adorable, Kadota admitted.

He then remembered he still had the apron on. Sighing once again, he removed it and put it back in the kitchen before heading to the destroyed living room.

Well, goodbye, sleep! Kadota was staying up tonight! Rolling up his sleeves, the ex-Blue Squares member began the very long night.

Very early the next morning, Izaya and Shizuo met each other in the hallway and before Shizuo could even flare up, Izaya shushed him, signalling for him to follow him. They tip-toed to the living room and found that it was back to normal. Then they found their temporary parent sitting on the floor, one arm on the couch's armrest with his head leaning against it.

"Shhh..." Izaya placed a finger to his lips as he hurriedly, but quietly, went to his bedroom and brought a blanket to the living room. Then he carefully covered the brown-haired man with it up to his shoulders.

Checking the time, Shizuo realized it was still very early as it was only three in the morning. The curtains had covered the window so it was hard to tell. Quietly, the two boys went back to their rooms.

**A/N: Guess who got blisters all over her fingers? I blame school.**


	4. Just Another Morning

It was a great sleep while it lasted. Kadota woke up to someone shaking his shoulders, muttering a "Hey, wake up." Kadota groaned, his head spinning due to the lack of sleep. How long had it been anyway? He had fallen asleep at about 2 in the morning so... The brown-haired man checked the clock and groaned. It was only 7 in the morning, which meant he had been asleep for only 5 hours. Only. Five. Hours!

"Oi, get up, I have to vacuum the floor before Izaya cuts my pay," was what the voice said. The ex-Blue Squares member immediately stood up, not wanting that to happen. He, Kyohei Kadota, was not that bad. But it was a bad move, because the moment he got up, his headache only got worse. Stupid lack of sleep!

"Namieeeeee~!" came the informant's voice. Great! Just what he needed to start off the day... Izaya continued, "Oh! Good morning, Mommy Dotachin!"

And immediately, said man exclaimed, "Don't call me that!" But that only made his head spin more.

"Uwah~! Mommy Dotachin's on PMS!" the auburn-eyed boy teased, clapping his hands together. He then continued, "Ne! Namie-chan! I've changed my mind! You don't need to do the chores!"

"What?" That made Kadota wide awake. Namie simply uttered out a "Nn" sound and left the vacuum on the ground, heading off to the office to file some papers. Kadota exclaimed, "What the hell, Izaya! Why'd you do that?"

"Because he wants to see you in an apron again," Namie stated, popping back in to the room to grab something she had dropped.

"Namie! Shh!" Izaya brought his finger up to his lips and shushed her, although that did not help much. The informant could feel the intensity of Kadota's glare and if looks could kill, he was willing to bet he would have melted some time ago.

Putting on his usual smirk, he decided to ask, "Mommy Dotachin~! What's for breakfast~?" He could have sworn that the glare had gotten worse.

"Breakfast? I just freaking got up an- Oh, I get it! You probably want to see me in that apron again, don't you? Forget it, Izaya!" Kadota frowned, crossing his arms and looking away, as if to sulk.

"I'm seriously wondering who is actually the child here..." Namie muttered before she headed off. Izaya was laughing and pointing at the currently childish Kadota until the Strongest Child of Ikebukuro came in. Using the hand that was not broken, Shizuo rubbed his eyes and yawned, obviously still tired.

"Mom, what's for breakfast...?" was what the sleepy child said. The room turned silent and when the statement had finally registered in Shizuo's head, his eyes snapped open and he exclaimed, "Holy shit! Sorry, Kadota! Sorry, sorry, sorry! Arghhhh damn it!" Izaya burst out laughing, rolling around on the floor while the adult remained silent with shock.

As if the day could just get any weirder...

"Mommy Dotachinnnn! I'm hungryyy!" was what Izaya said for nearly the entire morning. The beanie-wearing man was not very sure if the informant was now telling the truth or if he just wanted to see him in the apron. Kadota shuddered when he remembered the pink and frilly apron with the "Hello Kitty".

When Kadota saw Shizuo removing the bandages from his arm, he exclaimed with shock, "What the freaking hell are you doing?"

Blinking as he slowly registered what happened, Shizuo moved his once-broken arm before he explained, "Um... It's healed. I heal faster than normal people, you know?" It wasn't long before Kadota slapped his own forehead, calling himself "stupid". He just remembered that the brown-haired boy was not like other humans.

Speaking of "stupid", how the hell did he become so easily agitated? Was it because taking care of two boys was making him go insane? What made it worse was that the two boys were the Monster of Ikebukuro, Shizuo Heiwajima, and his enemy, Izaya Orihara, the two most troublesome and dangerous people in Tokyo.

"Kadota, are you alright? You're so easily pissed off today..." the small brown-haired child asked, tugging the man's pant leg. The beanie-wearing man wanted to yell and tell the boys that they were driving him insane. But how could he? Kyohei Kadota did not have the heart to do that. Especially when the young boy was staring up at him with the most adorable expression Kadota had ever seen Shizuo use. When did Shizuo even look that adorable anyway?

If taking care of the boys for a short while already made his mind go nuts, Kadota did not want to know how it would be like in the future. He could only hope that Shinra found the cure soon.

Meanwhile in Ikebukuro, Celty woke up to find herself on the floor. The next thing she noticed was that she was snuggling against something soft. The last thing she realized was that the soft thing was none other than Shinra. She wondered if she should continue to cuddle with him or get up and punch him... Maybe the latter.

"Ouch! C-Celty?" the doctor groaned after the pain that he felt right around his stomach. It made Celty almost feel sorry for what she did.

Almost.

[We... Didn't do anything last night right?] was what the dullahan typed in her PDA. Shinra simply shook his head and Celty seemed to relax a little.

"...Do you think Kadota was driven to insanity by those two already?" Shinra joked, but only received another punch.

[If he did, whose fault is it in the first place?] Celty scolded. If Celty had her voice, Shinra was sure she would be yelling at the top of her lungs. He could tell she was really agitated; the movement of the smoke from her neck said it all.

Shinra wanted to remind her that it was her fault, not his, but he decided not to. Agitating his lovely girlfriend was not really the best thing to do.

...Was Celty having her PMS?

Most likely.

"Ah! Celty! Did Izaya tell you who that client of his was? Perhaps we could find him or her and get an antidote or something!" Shinra suddenly said, surprising the headless woman. Unfortunately, Celty replied with one simple word - No.

Before Shinra could even let out a sound of frustration, Celty continued, [But we could go and ask him.]

Now why didn't the underground doctor think of that?

Leaving the apartment, Shinra and Celty climbed onto the dullahan's bike, not noticing a few pairs of eyes watching them as they sped off...

**A/N: All you guys need to know, is that falling ill and having school is terrible. Also, the bad guys in this fic are randomly made up by me since I'm sure Shizuo and Izaya have a lot of enemies. BTW, the Celty having her PMS part is just randomly thought up since I'm bored.**


	5. Problems

The trio did not even know that rumours were beginning to spread in Ikebukuro. Indeed, it had not even been a week, but a day without the two most dangerous men... Uh, children in Ikebukuro was enough for people to start wondering. Some people said that either Izaya or Shizuo had finally killed the other, some others said that they, perhaps, were abducted by others who were possibly more stronger than the Monster of Ikebukuro himself, while the remaining bunch, which was the minority of Ikebukuro, said that perhaps they got into a secret relationship and ran off with each other. If Kadota heard the third rumour, he'd obviously know who had started it. It was very, very obvious. However, neither one of the three knew what was going on in Ikebukuro.

"No, Izaya! I told you not to open your door without looking through the damn-! Izaya! What if that was your enem-"

"Hey, it's Shinra! And Celty too!" the small raven-haired child immediately exclaimed when he saw the couple at the door, ignoring what the beanie-wearing man said. Upon hearing his two close friends' names, the brown-haired boy stopped colouring with the crayons and made his way to the door to see if the guests were really his friends. Indeed, it was them.

The couple greeted the trio before they made their way in and sat on the couch. Izaya slammed the door close, loudly, and made the dullahan and doctor jump due to shock. Shinra wondered if Izaya did that all the time, but then wondered why he was even wondering about that!

The brown-haired man asked the guests if they would like anything to drink or eat. He knew Celty could not eat or drink but he still asked, just to be polite. As expected, the two of them declined the offer but simply asked how the boys and Kadota were doing.

"Eh... The guys are alright, I guess... Not much trouble at all!" said the ex-Blue Square member when he noticed the boys looking at him, as if curious about what his answer was. When the boys shifted their attention to something else, he whispered to his old school friend, "Save me."

The underground doctor could not control himself and began to laugh. He was not usually one to laugh at another person when they were obviously miserable, but this time, he really could not help it. Seeing his old friend so helpless by simply being around two children was just too funny for him. Celty punched her lover in the gut and Shinra yelped before he apologised.

A tug on his clothing made the doctor look at the brown-haired boy who held onto a piece of paper.

"Hey, Shinra. Look what I drew!"

And seeing one of his best friends so childish, yet cute, was really... Different for Shinra...

Listening to the Strongest Child in Ikebukuro, the doctor and Celty glanced at the paper and they suddenly started laughing out loud. Well, Celty could not laugh but her body shook the way a person's body will when they laugh.

"The hell, Shizuo? Why is Kadota in an apron?" Shinra asked, pointing at the piece of drawing. Shizuo simply answered, "'Cuz he looked good in it yesterday."

Izaya went to take a glance at it before he, too, began laughing, "Shizu-chan! That's the worst drawing I've ever seen!"

"Oh yeah, you stupid flea? I'd like to see you do better!" the brown-haired boy waved a fist in front of the child informant's face.

"Wait! Guys! No! I just fixed the damn pla-" Apparently that day was a bad day for Kadota... At least the damage was only half as bad as the previous day as Celty managed to stop them. At least he had something to be thankful for...

Kadota yelled in frustration as he furrowed his eye brows, burying his face into his right palm, "You guys are grounded!"

Apparently, the boys did not expect that as they stood there, shocked.

"B-But Dotachin, it isn't as bad as yesterday... A-And you can't ground us! This is my house!" the raven-haired boy exclaimed as he began to throw a little tantrum.

"I have every right to ground you guys since I am your temporary parent now get the bloody hell to your room and reflect on what you've done!" Shinra and Celty could sense the annoyance in their friend's voice; it was obvious.

Whining, the raven-haired boy stood there, stubbornly refusing to listen to his temporary parent. But Shizuo knew when enough was enough and grabbed the younger boy by the back of his collar and dragged him off.

Once the boys had left, the beanie-wearing man decided to ask, "So, what did you come here for?"

"...I'm sorry? What?"

"Well, you guys obviously did not come here just to check on how we were doing, right? I mean, going from your apartment in Ikebukuro to Shinjuku is too troublesome..." Trust Kadota to actually know that...

[Actually we came here to ask Izaya who one of his clients were. Apparently, she or he may actually be able to change them back...] Celty typed.

"Wait, what? 'She or he'?"

[The person was hooded. I couldn't tell the gender...] the dullahan replied.

Sighing, Kadota led the two adults to the younger boy's room. Izaya was jumping on his bed and his room was in a giant mess.

Where's Namie when you needed her?

Oh, right... She already left.

"Izaya! Celty and I need to ask you a question!" the doctor exclaimed, making the boy stop and sit on his bed, tilting his head and wondering what they wanted. The temporary parent left the room to go and fix the half-damaged room... Again.

[Who was the last client you told me to deliver to?] was the straightforward question Celty typed.

"Sorry~! It's confidential!" the child informant said, a grin plastered on his face.

"Izaya, it's important!"

"Why~? Ne, Shinra! Why~?"

"We may be able to ask him or her how to turn you guys back!" replied Shinra.

Silence immediately filled the room. Izaya did know that the delivery had fouled up, but he had cared less and forgotten all about it. Thinking for a while, the raven-haired child finally responded, his signature smirk plastered on his face, "If I tell you guys, it will come with a price."

"What th-? Izaya!"

"Shinra, I can't give you information without getting something in return!"

[Doesn't changing you guys back into adults work?]

"Nope~! You're also gonna change Shizu-chan back too so it doesn't count!" Izaya said in his usual happy tune. Shinra groaned in frustration and Celty rested her hand on her forehe- I mean, helmet. Shinra would gladly stop to find a cure if it were not for Shizuo, and possibly Kadota. Thinking about how much trouble the brown-haired ex-Blue Square member had to face was enough to make the underground doctor pity him and almost regret asking him to take care of them.

Almost.

"But Izaya, your prices are far too expensive and Celty and I aren't that rich..." Shinra complained.

"Hmmmm... Well, there is something I want..." Izaya thought for a moment, striking the pose that the statue called "The Thinker" has. The child informant smiled and loudly exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE MOMMY DOTACHIN IN THAT APRON I SAW YESTERDAY!"

Silence filled the atmosphere as the couple stared at the child. Shinra coughed before he asked, "That's all?" Izaya happily nodded.

The doctor recalled the picture that Shizuo drew. So... Izaya wanted Kyohei to wear that pink, frilly apron? Shinra was hesitant; Kadota would most likely murder them. Emphasizing on the word "murder". And nicely asking the guy to wear it would definitely not work. But then again, it was all for a good cause so the couple had no choice but to use force later.

There was a knock on the informant's door and Kadota came in, still looking slightly pissed, "I'm finally done fixing the other room. I'm warning you: Destroy it again and you're more than just grounded... Anyway, it's lunch... What do you guys wanna eat?"

Talk about good timing...

"You!"

And once again, silence filled the room before Izaya burst out laughing, "Ahaha! Dotachin! I'm just joking! You should've seen the look on your face!"

Grumbling, the temporary parent muttered to himself, "Plain rice for Izaya then..." The doctor simply said he wanted some ramen. Nodding, the brown-haired man walked off to Shizuo's room, asking him the same question, before he went to the kitchen.

"Remember our deal, Shinra~!" was all the informant had to say before the couple got out of his room. They knew Izaya was silly, really. But they did not expect the child version of him to be this much silly.

They walked pass Shizuo, who curiously asked what they were doing. All Shinra had to say was "apron" before the brown-haired child snickered and went back to what he was doing.

The kitchen door was closed. Why were they not surprised? Soundlessly, the dullahan grabbed onto the door knob with both hands and carefully turned it, opening the door as quietly as she could, before the two sneaked in. Thankfully, Kadota had not noticed them coming in and carried on cooking. This time, he did not bother wearing an apron. In fact, he did not even want to anymore. Just remembering that pink, frilly apron with the "Hello Kitty" on it made him shudder. Thank God Erika and Walker were not there that day.

Celty made her shadows grab the apron which was hanging on the chair before she pulled it to herself and grabbed tightly onto it. Thank God she did not have a voice, otherwise she would have been giggling non-stop.

Suddenly feeling like he was unable to do it, Shinra gestured his lover to do it instead. Unexpectedly, the dullahan was actually more than eager to do it. They waited until the temporary parent was done cooking before Celty used her shadows to put the apron on the astonished man. They had to admit - He looked really good in that.

"What the-? CELTY! SHINRA!" Kyohei pointed accusingly at the couple, who only began to laugh.

Almost as if he knew when was the right timing, Izaya cried out, "MOMMY DOTACHIN! I'M HUNGRY! I'M DYING OF STARVATION HERE!" Panicking as he could not just let a child go hungry, plus Izaya made it sound so real, Kadota forgot about the apron and grabbed all the dishes, running out of the kitchen and going to the informant's room. It was then he felt stupid; he could have just placed it on the dining table in the kitchen and told the boys to go there while he removed the apron.

"Say cheese!" Izaya grinned before he snapped another picture. Shinra could have sworn he heard Kadota swearing under his breath. Celty went to get Shizuo to go the Izaya's room for lunch.

"...Izaya, remember our deal..." the doctor reminded.

"Oh, yeah. I don't know her real name since she refused to tell me, but she said to address her as "Michi". Such an odd nickname, huh? She told me that she was a scientist but from the way she dresses, I don't think so. I'd say she was a witch but you know I don't believe in superstitious nonsense, right, Shinra~? Well, maybe with a few exceptions..." Izaya paused, looking at Celty, before he turned back to Shinra and continued, "She stays somewhere near Mikado-kun's house, y'know, that old, dusty place? Wait, why's he even staying in such a place?" Izaya made a confused face. "That's about all I can say. Maybe you can ask Mikado-kun about Michi-chan~!"

After the meal, the couple thanked Kadota for the meal before they got up and went off, back to Ikebukuro.

Namie watched the couple ride off on the motorcycle before she shrugged and continued making her way back to Izaya's place. She had apparently left some things there. It was either her or she was getting more and more scatter-brained.

When something goes wrong, blame someone else. So Namie naturally blamed her employer for giving her so much paperwork that it was making her brain go mush.

"Hey!" a male voice called out to the secretary. Namie turned to face a man in a leather jacket and rings on every finger. He continued, "Does Orihara Izaya stay here?"

Remembering her employer's current situation, Namie decided it might not be a good idea for anyone to see him. She shook her head.

"Liar, I saw his friends going in there," was all the man said next. Namie then knew that something bad was going to happen. She noticed another punk, who was hooded, pretending to read a newspaper but, in truth, was staring at them. Another was drinking a slushie. He had a nose ring and a spiked bracelet.

She panicked slightly before she grabbed her handbag and hit the man with the leather jacket on the head and ran into the building. Luckily for her, she reached the informant's home in time and locked the door. She decided that it was, perhaps, a good idea to tell the informant about what had happened.

Upon hearing the story, all three males swore at the same time. They knew that was not good.

Maybe it would be better if they left Shinjuku and went back to Shizuo's place since Izaya's enemies knew that they were at the informant's house. But the question was: How?

Maybe calling the "Van Gang" now might be a good idea...

**A/N: I think I'm losing the ability to write. LOL. Guess who was sugar high? Oh, and Michi was created just for the sake of this story. But don't worry, she won't appear more than needed. Unless you want her to.**


	6. Addition to the Family and stuff

Saburo turned the driving wheel sharply as he sped off to the informant's apartment in Shinjuku, making the otakus at the back of the van, who were not wearing seatbelts, jerk violently to one side and Walker hit his head against the van's door.

"Togusacchi! Slow d-down!" the fujoshi screeched as the driver continued speeding.

They had received a phone call from Shinjuku earlier and when Walker picked it up, the voice of their friend and "leader" could be heard. He sounded panicky and from his tone, the male otaku could tell it was urgent. The beanie-wearing man told him a simplified version of what had happened and emphasized on the fact that he needed the "Van Gang" to help them escape to Shizuo's house and not be caught by the three punks who were still standing outside the apartment.

Walker told Saburo and Erika and they wasted no time and got into the van and, not waiting for the two otakus to put on their seatbelts, Saburo sped off.

As Shinjuku was quite close by, the reached their destination in just about half and hour and, true to what Kadota had said, there were three gangsters standing outside, as if waiting for them to come out of the apartment.

"Yumacchi! Togusacchi! How are we gonna get them out? Should we sneak them out in a secretive way like in spy shows, or bash our way in and use force to get out like in action animes?" Erika asked, wondering which was a better idea.

"Karisawa-chan, I think the former is better, otherwise they'd know that they're no longer at Izaya-san's house!" the fox-faced otaku said, making Erika nod. She went to the back of the van, also known as the boot of the van, and pulled out a rather large box that she had gotten from buying all her manga. The store which she bought them from decided to put the manga books into a box since there were far too many for her to carry without something holding it. Erika had been too lazy to throw it out, despite Saburo's constant nagging, and was now thankful she never threw it away.

Meanwhile up in the apartment, Namie, who had been looking out of the window, saw the van, which had the anime girl on the door, and told Kadota that his friends were here. The man had told her the descriptions of the van and told her to keep watch while he helped the boys pack.

"Did they say anything about me? Or did they seem like they knew I was taking care of them?" Kyohei asked, making the secretary ponder for a while before she shook her head. The ex-Blue Squares member was deep in thought until Namie commented that the apron looked good on him, making him remember that in his haste and all, he forgot to remove it. Swearing under his breath, he headed to the kitchen.

The two adults kept watch for the next couple of minutes and during that time, the sneaky little informant took the opportunity to grab the apron and run back to his room and pack it in.

The doorbell rung and Kadota went to take a look through the hole on the door. There stood Walker and Saburo, carrying a giant box that could fit both Shizuo and Izaya, and possibly even Namie. Erika had stayed in the van as too many people going upstairs would make it seem suspicious to the three punks.

Erika's idea was simple, much to the other otaku's surprise; he had expected her to give a really far-fetched idea. Her idea was to get Shizuo and Izaya, including Namie as she was spotted by the punks, into the box while Saburo and Walker carried it down. Or maybe Walker could carry the boys' luggages while Kadota helped to carry the box instead. To normal people's eyes, it would simply look like they were moving for a short while, so it had to be flawless, which made both males surprised. Maybe they underestimated Erika...

The three men outside noticed the "Van Gang" and stared for a while, making them slightly nervous and speed up a little, but they calmed down when the punks simply shrugged and continued paying close attention to the building.

They successfully reached the van and began to drive off. Namie, Shizuo and Izaya came out of the box and took a deep sigh of relief... Well, more of just Shizuo and Namie, actually. Izaya simply started laughing, but that did not really surprise the others. Erika started squealing and commented on how "kawaii" the boys looked.

Back in Ikebukuro, Celty and Shinra had reached their destination - Mikado's house. They had decided to take their friend's advice and ask Mikado about Michi, if he knew her, that is. Fortunately for them, he did.

"Michi-san?" the teenager asked, just to confirm if he heard right. Celty nodded. Mikado pondered for a moment before he continued speaking, "Michi-san doesn't really like going outdoors much so I don't see her that often. But I sometimes see her relaxing under a tree in the shade just near her house. Her apartment's kinda like mine, from the outside, I mean, but I've never gone inside so I'm not so sure of how it seems in there. But she rarely ever separates the curtains. It's almost like she hates the sunlight..."

"Did you ever talk with her?" the doctor asked, raising a brow, as his lover listened intently.

"Um... Yes, I think about a couple of times? Or maybe slightly more? She said that Michi isn't her real name and refuses to tell me what her real name is... She also kept telling me things like 'You shouldn't trust a stranger as they may not be as they seem' and asking me why I sometimes talked to her... I... I don't understand what's up with her, at all..."

[Would you say that she thinks of you as a friend?] Celty decided to ask.

"Eh? I'm not so sure! What's up with the question? But I don't really understand what she's thinking... Though sometimes she's quite a nice person to talk to..." the Raira student replied, unsure of what to say.

"Ah... Okay... Um..." Shinra paused, wondering what else to ask, "How... How does she look like? Can you describe the times you met or saw her?"

"Ah, the first time I met her, she was wearing a hooded shirt so I couldn't really tell if she was a guy or a girl. I didn't talk to her then. The second time though, she was just wearing a jacket and long pants. Not jeans, just long pants... Um... She had short hair, kind of like Heiwajima-san's hairstyle? She's black-haired though and she has really bright yellow eyes. That was the first time I talked to her," the Dollars leader paused, taking a deep breath before she continued, "I do remember asking her why her eyes were yellow as that was not really a normal colour you'd see in Ikebukuro. She was definitely not a foreigner since she had no foreign accent and her japanese was fluent. All she said was 'Do you know what the colour yellow represents?'"

Shinra tilted his head, confused, "I think I read online that it meant all sorts of happy and cheerful stuff..." And if it really meant that and Michi was truly a witch or something like that, he wondered what the connection was. Weren't witches supposed to be bad and stuff instead of being cheery and warm?

"Yes, that's what I said. And all she said next was 'Exactly'... I... Don't understand at all..." Mikado pouted slightly before he continued with the third time he saw her, "The third time I saw her, she was at the same spot again. She asked me why I was even talking to her and commented that no one really liked being with her. I was confused and we just enjoyed the breeze for a while. Michi-san proceeded to tell me what she was talking about the previous time we met, 'Yellow represents all the happiness and love and simply just all the good things. My eyes are yellow. What do you think that means?' She paused for a while as I took the time to process everything before she continued, 'I want to be the one to provide the happiness for others. That's why my eyes are yellow. In a way, it helps me believe that I am happiness itself. Or maybe just the provider of happiness.' I... I don't get it..."

All three remained silent. It almost sounded like gibberish to them. Nothing she said seemed to make sense to them. Was she even speaking Japanese? Sighing, Shinra got up and Celty thanked Mikado for the help... Not that it was any help.

Before they left, they asked the boy where the mysterious girl was living, to which the boy provided the address.

In another part of Ikebukuro, Walker and Erika were cheering as their plan was successfully completed. The "Van Gang" had brought everyone safely to Shizuo's house.

"Namie-channn~!" Izaya called out as his secretary prepared to leave.

"What?" she answered coldly.

"Do you really think it's safe to go home? They might know where you stay, y'know?" the black-haired child smirked.

Namie felt chills run down her spine. She knew that there was a low chance that would happen, but Izaya, as much as she'd hate to admit it, was smart and could be right. And she did not want to experience another encounter with her boss' enemies.

"I have to take care of Seij-"

"Ah? But didn't you know? Seiji-kun has moved to... What's her name... Mika-chan's house! It could be temporarily or permanantly... I don't know~!"

At that, Namie remained silent, fists clenching as she began shaking with rage. How dare she? How dare that stupid girl steal her precious Seiji?

"Ne~! Namie-channn, since Seiji-kun is no longer home, no one can protect you if you're home alone and you don't really have a reason to go home!" Izaya stated. The secretary thought for a moment. She had the desire to go look for her brother, but she loved him so dearly that a part of her said to just let him do what he wanted. And going home and possibly getting attacked by those punks was not exactly a very nice idea...

"...What do you want, Izaya?" the lady frowned, knowing that Izaya actually wanted her to do something. Her boss always had a reason for doing something.

"Uwah! Namie-chan knows me too well!" the informant pretended to be shocked before he smirked and continued, "Weeeell, Mommy Dotachin's probably tired now soooo... Why don't you stay with us and help her out?"

"Wait, did you just call me a 'her', Izaya?" the temporary parent glared at the raven-haired child, making the child snicker and utter a "Noooooo~!"

"Listen, you flea. This is my freaking house so unless you wanna get your ass kicked, don't freaking piss me off!" the brown-haired child warned, already feeling his blood boil from Izaya's childish attitude.

"Ah, whatever, Shizu-chan. Well... So what's your answer, Namie-chan?" Izaya asked, rolling his eyes at the ex-bartender.

The secretary pondered for a while; was it a good idea to agree? If she did agree, she would end up living with her boss, the strongest child in Ikebukuro, and some random guy with a beanie temporarily. Does not really sound so appealing. But if she declined, she would be staying by herself in her house without her beloved brother and had the chance of getting bothered by Izaya's enemies. And that did not sound any better from the former option. In fact, it seemed worse!

Finally arriving at a decision, Namie hoped she would not regret it.

"Fine."

**A/N: Okay, before you start asking about what gibberish Michi was talking about, I will explain later in the story (I hope I remember to). But can anyone guess what she actually means? :) Ah, and I just felt like putting Namie in. By the way, I type my stories at night so my brain doesn't really work :/**


	7. More and More Problems

"...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM, FLEA!" was all that was needed to wake the temporary parent up one morning and rush to the brown-haired child's room. Namie, too, was woken up by the loud voice but did not really care, so she headed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast instead of helping Kadota out.

The auburn-eyed child had snuck into the other's room and scared him the moment he woke up, making him get angry at the informant. However, before Shizuo could destroy his own house, the ex-Blue Squares member pulled him away from Izaya, trying his best to ignore his struggles. And because the boy was really strong, it kind of hurt.

"Izaya, the first thing I need in the morning is another disaster scene I have to fix! Stop pissing Shizuo off!"

"Can you feel the motherly instincts kicking in, Mommy Dotachin~?" the black-haired child teased.

"Okay, you're staying in your room until breakfast is ready..." the brown-haired man said, making the boy pout. If there's one thing Izaya disliked besides dead fishes' eyes, it was being grounded since there would be nothing interesting to do. As Izaya left, Kadota turned and faced Shizuo, stating that he had to try and control himself or those gangsters or something would find out they were now staying here. Shizuo frowned but stated that he would try.

Namie finished cooking breakfast quickly and Izaya was glad about that since he was finally free.

"Ne~! Dotachin could always take up tuition classes for cooking from Namie-chan," the boy stated, smirking his trademark smirk. The man would've shouted at the child, but the sound of the doorbell ringing stopped him.

The man shot one last glare at the child before he went to open the door, only to find that it was Celty and Shinra.

[We found out exactly where Michi-san, the person who can change them back, is staying. Want to come with?] came the message from the headless woman. Almost immediately, he replied "Yes" and followed them out, leaving the boys with Namie.

When they finally reached their destination, Kadota felt slightly nervous. What was Michi like? Dangerous? Creepy? Or what? But she definitely had to be something if she had the ability to change the boys back.

The doctor knocked a couple of times on the old and wooden door before the sound of footsteps could be heard. The door slowly creaked open and a short girl, or maybe a young woman, peeked open. She had black hair and very bright yellow eyes, matching Mikado's description of Michi.

"Are you... Perhaps... Michi-san?" Shinra asked, feeling butterflies fluttering in his stomach. The girl simply stared for a while as her eyes examined her visitors. Kadota could've sworn her eyes were glowing because they were just too bright. Said girl seemed to relax after she finished examining the three of them and replied with a smile, "Yes, I am. May I help you?"

Michi did not budge, so the three could not really take a look into her house. But they did notice a faint glow and a funny smell. [Ah, well, we were wondering if you could help us.] Celty typed.

Immediately, the girl's smile widened and she said, "Oh! You want my help! Of course I can help you! After all, I am the one who will bring happiness!" She then began to ramble about her goals about being able to make the entire world happy and stuff like that.

Without a word, she led her guests in, letting them take a look at all the different shelves full of containers which contained many different glowing liquids. In the kitchen was an old-fashioned and small pot, sitting on the stove, and a strange smell was coming from it.

"...You don't have to be so tensed, you know? I'm not going to hurt you. Well, at least I doubt that. I mean, other witches would, but not I!" Michi felt the tensed atmosphere and decided to try calming her guests down. She continued, "I mean... Well... I'm supposed to bring happiness, right? That's why my eyes are yellow. I mean, I could always change it to red, but that'll make me more of... An aggressive person? I don't think that's good. Frankly, I don't want to find out. Happiness sounds more appealing. Red symbolizes intense passion, aggression, and courage. It can also symbolize sexual impulses, danger and shame. Did you know that?"

The moment that girl's voice had a hint of nervousness in it as she rambled, Kadota felt more relieved. She didn't appear to be dangerous though she herself confirmed she was a witch.

Shinra then understood her conversation with Mikado about her eyes. It's hard to explain, but Shinra guessed that she meant something like this: She had the ability to change her eye colour and changing it might actually change her personality. Shinra never did know witches had that ability... Well, maybe they don't! Maybe she and some few other witches made a potion that could do that? No one would know.

"Uhhh... Sorry, but do you know Orihara Izaya?" the doctor asked as the girl continued to ramble.

"And- And- Oh, sorry. Uh..." she coughed nervously before the calm look was back on, "Orihara-san? Ah... Yes, indeed, I know that man. What about him?"

"He... Uh..."

[I accidentally delivered you the wrong 'potion' and gave you Shinra's... Something instead! So Izaya and Shizuo ended up... Well, stuff happened and now they're children! So we were wondering if you could turn them back!]

Michi was confused. "Turn them back...? But wouldn't people prefer turning into youngsters instead?" Apparently she did not care about the fact that the potion had been mixed up with something else.

"Not everyone would," the temporary parent stated.

The thought that she had indirectly made some people unhappy made the witch slightly upset for a moment.

"I... See..."

Silence filled the room. Celty kind of wondered why Mikado never told them that Michi was so sensitive, then she realized that Mikado didn't even know her that well.

The yellow-eyed girl seemed to return to her normal self quickly though and she stated, "Well, I suppose you are lucky then. Because I happen to have a potion to make people grow older to the age they want. Though... I think it would be safer if I carried it to Orihara-san and the other one. For many reasons..."

Shinra and Celty understood and nodded while Kadota looked as if he was going to fall asleep. Well, taking care of Shizuo and Izaya was very tiring, you know?

"We should leave soon then," the underground doctor stated as he got up. Michi went to turn off her stove and went to grab the correct container.

Soon enough, the four of them headed back to Shizuo's home. Only problem was that the house had been destroyed...

And the boys were gone.

Kadota found the informant's secretary lying in the pile of ruins and shook her awake. When asked, she simply replied, "The boys fought and those gangsters found out..."

That was all Kadota needed to know. He told Shizuo not to lose his temper. He freaking did.

Celty was in panic mode, Shinra was worried, and Michi had no idea what just happened.

Instinctively, Celty revved up the bike's engine and the moment everyone, but Namie, was secured on the bike, she zoomed off.

Normally, Kadota would be convinced that the boys would be fine... But that was when they were adults. They were now children! And anything could happen! Shinra said he was probably being paranoid, but the other ignored him.

He could only hope they were fine.

The suddenly thought of Izaya's comment on his "motherly" instincts entered his mind. Was he seriously becoming... Motherly? That was creepy. But maybe being a parent was the cause... And...

Wait, what was he thinking?

Right now, he had to focus on finding the boys.

And hell, he was definitely going to find them. No one was going to stop him. Definitely no-

"You do realize that you're getting tensed up? Are you worried about the boys? That's quite... Um... Very motherly...? I guess," came Michi's comment.

...

...

...

And the sudden thought of Izaya and Shizuo laughing their asses off popped into his head. If they heard that, that'll happen.

That small thought made the man smile, even if it was just for a moment.

**A/N: F*** LOSING INSPIRATION! SORRY FOR THE CRAPPINESS!**


	8. End

It was not really that hard to locate the boys, thanks to little Shizuo. He had been struggling during their entire journey to God-knows-where, they concluded, as he had left some traces around.

For example, a broken car piece was found out one part of Ikebukuro. At first, they paid no heed to it as it could have just belonged to some old car. Then, they passed by a few shards of glass, but still paid no heed. Then finally, they found a car door on the side of the road, all dented and broken. Michi commented that the car must've been a really run-down one, but Kadota stated that no sane man would ride such a broken car around town. Plus, how did it get all the way to that side of the road?

Immediately, Celty knew that she was on the right track and requested the other three to keep their eyes out for any more traces of broken car parts.

After what seemed like forever, though it was only one or two hours, they made it to their destination. At the entrance, they saw a rather broken car with broken windows, a missing door, no mirrors, and stuff like that. Immediately, they knew it had to be the right place.

The temporary parent could feel butterflies in his stomach and his heart was racing. A hand was placed on his shoulder and when the man turned around, Shinra smiled his usual cheery smile and said, "Don't worry! I'm sure they'll be fine! I mean, it's Izaya and Shizuo, after all!"

That's exactly why he was worried. If the two boys could not even get along, how were they to protect themselves without killing each other first?

Two fingers were placed at the corners of his mouth, yanking them upwards to form a smile. The yellow-eyed witch smiled, stating that it was better to turn a frown upside-down. "Ease your nerves. I do not expect that Orihara-san or the other one will get killed anytime soon." It was a nice attempt to calm him, but it didn't exactly work.

Another paranoid thought popped into Kyohei's head: Shizuo would definitely keep struggling to free himself, and knowing him, he would have caused some massive destruction by now. The problem was that so far, the place was still intact.

"Oh God no. Don't tell me they'r-"

BOOM!

Ah, there it was. That helped to calm the man's nerves, even if it was just a little.

Celty forced her lover to stay outside and watch her "horse" as she was convinced that the underground doctor was too weak to even survive in there. The man was a bit insulted, but he listened to his "beloved and dearest Celty" anyway.

Soon enough, the ex-Blue Squares member, the witch, and the dullahan entered the building. Fortunately, locating the boys was not at all hard as one could hear the loud swearings and yellings from the gangsters and Shizuo. If anything, Izaya would be the calmest there.

If Kadota knew him well, he'd say that Izaya was probably sitting there and enjoying his beloved humans attempt to crush the brown-haired monster.

If he was not wrong, there were about a dozen thugs in the room, eyes all on the Monster of Ikebukuro. Kadota was right about Izaya sitting and watching though. The boy was simply sitting oh-so innocently and smirking. He did not seem to be interested in even escaping. As for Shizuo, he was currently holding a chair in his hands, waiting for any signs of movements.

Celty moved first, swinging her scythe and "cutting" about 3 or 4 of them, making them unconscious. The boys' eyes glistened, happy that help had arrived, though they did not really need it, even though Kyohei was convinced they did.

The strongest child in Ikebukuro started throwing anything he could get his hands on at the thugs, even Izaya. Upon being flung across the room, the informant immediately grew alert and managed to land on his feet. Many eyes were now also on him and he cursed, now unable to sit and observe his precious humans.

"Shizu-chan~! I can't watch my lovely humans anymore!" he whined.

"Not my problem!" Shizuo replied, resuming the continuous throwing of items.

Not left with much of a choice, the youngest in the room grabbed his silver knives out of his jacket's pockets and tossed them, aiming for the ceiling's light. The light dropped, causing the bulb to crash on the floor.

"Izaya! If you're not careful, you might start a fire or something!"

"Sorry, Mommy Dotachin~!"

"Don't call me that!" In all honesty, the man was really relieved that the boys were alright. Right now, his main priority was to get everyone out safely and turn them back to adults. Speaking of turning them back...

"Michi! I need the cure now!" The witch nodded, pulling her arm with the container back, readying herself for throwing and making sure Kadota was ready to catch it. But-

"BANG!"

Silence momentarily filled the room and everyone froze in their positions. The yellow-eyed girl stared into blank space as a stinging pain was felt around her abdomen. Blood gushed out and she paled. She saw a heavy-looking object fly pass her head and hit the man with the gun, knocking him out and she fell down to the ground, catching her breath. Before she knew it, every thug had been taken down and everyone rushed to her aid.

She passed the cure to the temporary parent, her eyes looking tired but her mouth still in a shape of a smile, blood pouring out from it.

"I do hope that you would be happy turning back to adults," she stated, smile still plastered on.

"Quiet! Don't even speak a word!" the brown-haired man exclaimed. He had seen people get hurt before and bleed like hell, but he had never really seen someone get shot from such a close range. And she was bleeding a lot.

Stubbornly, the witch continued, "Yellow shows happiness. I mentioned that I've always wanted to bring happiness..." She paused. "In all honesty... I've never even made anyone happy before, but I still persisted. I can... Feel my life force draining away..."

"Shut up, you dumb weird-looking lady!" Shizuo exclaimed. He had been shot before, so a gunshot wouldn't scare him. But to see another person who wasn't Izaya get shot... That was an entirely different story...

As she felt herself being lifted up, she continued speaking as they rushed her out, "Don't bother. I'm not even an important person to save anyway. I'm a failure and I've never managed to bring anyone happiness. Heh..." Emotions like sorrow and self-pity suddenly filled her, clear tears forming at her eyes. "Amusing, isn't it? And isn't it slightly ironic? The witch supposed to bring happiness is crying? Heheh... Hahahaha..."

Silence filled the air for a while until Kadota finally broke it, "Not a failure. You're just great. You got us a cure to make these two idiots-"

"Hey!"

"-Adults. It'll make many people happier so you did make people happy. Therefore, you are not a failure."

Michi drew in a sharp intake of breath, realizing what he said was right. She began to laugh again, slightly happier now, but tears still poured from her eyes.

"...I'm happy. My goal has been reached... Thank you all. I can die happy..."

Shizuo was about to explode at all the angsty talk, feeling rather agitated, but the girl interrupted his thoughts, "Lead a happy life. You all deserve a better life, yes?"

[Stop talking like that! You'll be fine!] read the PDA of Celty's, which she tossed to the witch so that she could read it.

"Nope. I won't. I can feel it. I'm happy. So happy. Hahaha... But... I'm scared... So scared... Death... Is..."

"Shut up! You won't die! Shinra will fix you up! Hang on, God damn it!" Kadota yelled, agitated.

"...Very..."

"You barely even know us and yet you came to help us! You're crazy, you know that? But we owe you so DON'T die, damn it!" the monster of Ikebukuro shouted.

"...So very..."

[Hang on! We're almost there!]

"...Sca... Ry..."

And with that last intake of breath, she closed her exhausted eyes and fell right into her deep sleep.

Shinra's eyes threatened to pop out when he saw the corpse in the ex-Blue Squares member's arms. Celty pulled him to one side to explain what had happened. Kadota lay her on the ground, resting his arms. Shizuo forced himself not to let tears spill while Izaya seemed quite unaffected.

"Oi, Flea! Aren't you even upset? She helped us, you know?!"

"And, Shizu-chan?"

"What 'And'?! You ungrateful little louse who should just fu-"

"Shizu-chan! All living things die! Nothing lives forever! Even I know that! What's the point of getting so worked-up over one stupid little death? She's not even human!" Izaya exclaimed, voice proving that he was not as calm as he seemed.

He was grateful. He truly was. But he refused to accept that. After all, he was Izaya! The man who loved homo sapiens and hated anything else. If he was grateful, he wouldn't hate her! It may seem to be such a trivial thing but to him, it was a big deal.

For once in a long while, he was so confused.

Remembering the cure, the man gave it to the boys. With a loud 'poof', the children turned into the adults that were oh-so famous for their... Different-ness...

"It feels great to be back~!" the informant grinned, pushing the thought about the now-dead witch aside. Shizuo simply huffed and looked away, mumbling a "I never want to experience this again".

A month passed and everything in Ikebukuro went back to normal. Shizuo and Izaya went to back fighting each other about a week after the incident. Michi's corpse had been buried and soon after, she was completely forgotten, like she never existed. Kadota was back to being called "Dotachin" instead of "Mommy Dotachin" and Celty and her lover were finally planning a wedding. Mikado had wondered where Michi disappeared to but soon forgot about it like everyone else forgot her existance. Namie had her normal, or maybe not entirely normal, life back. Unfortunately, the thugs were not arrested but they would never really bother Shizuo or Izaya ever again as they were now back to being normal and... Inhuman.

x

Izaya had once again agrivated his favourite 'non-human' toy, therefore leading to the current situation where he was being hunted down by said toy.

"Izaya-kuuuuun!" a loud yell could be heard, followed by the destruction of buildings, vending machines, and street signs.

"Ahaha~ Catch me if you can, Shizu-chan~"

"YOU FLEAAAAAA!"

Before they knew it, they ended up at where a certain brunette man lived and-

"CRASH!"

...There went his apartment.

"...Fuck... Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuckidy fuckfuckfuck! OHHHHH FUCK! I hope he wasn't in there!"

"Oh snap, Shizu-chan! What did you just do?!" Izaya screamed, hands threatening to pull off his hair.

A sudden chill ran down their spines as they felt like they were being watched. Shizuo's shades slid down his nose slightly and Izaya's eyebrow twitched.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Shizuo... Izaya..."

Okay, that confirmed it. It was, indeed, Kyohei Kadota who was watching them. The men turned around to see the other staring at them and his apartment... Well, at least what was left of it. His groceries were scattered on the floor and his eyes opened wide. The crowd nearby were watching their next movements. They had expected the two to continued fighting but instead, they began to run away from the beanie-wearing man.

"SHIT! RUN, YOU DAMNED LOUSE!"

"I'M RUNNING, SHIZU-CHAN!"

"IZAYA! SHIZUO! YOU GUYS ARE SO GROUNDED!"

**A/N: I… I lost interest… OTL**


End file.
